past,present,future..

2011-06-11T00:46:00.000-07:00

I dun wish to put down everything
Our memories,I couldn't forget
And I ended up hurting ppl
I dint wan tt to happen
But I can't put u down
Rainy days makes me tink of our stuffs
Dancing,bball,everything
Is it rly a full stop to our story ?
I guess so bah
Both of us dun wanna face our painful past
Fate played us
We ended up this way
Well guess I just haf to stop tinking

2011-06-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Why am I so stupid
To be staring at th Elmo u gave me
And tearing
Memories flow back agn
Suffocating me
But things weren't th same anymore
最熟悉的陌生人
I rly missed us

2011-06-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

Passed by th busstop
Thought of all th tears I shed when I left ur hse to walk to th bus stop
I'm rly hating r/s
Being alone may be tiring,but at least I can protect myself

2011-06-05T00:22:00.000-07:00

Somewhere deep down,you're still there.
Been through too much that I'm unable to put u down
I thought I could
I tries to face you with a smile
And told myself a lot of times that I'm over you
But again and again
I failed myself
What should I do Aaron ?
I'm so envious of you
That you managed to get on your life
How about me??
Yeahh I know I did wrong
And I thought I could be over you and move on my life
But still,in my new relationships
You are all that I think about
I have become such a bitch
Because of our past
I'm tied down!
We have became the closest stranger
And it's killing me deep inside

2011-05-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

Wished I know wad u're tinking.
Are u hiding urself too well,or have u rly gave up
Felt so weak,as if I went back to th past
When I was liking u butvu had a gf thn
Sometimes I rly do wonder,wad is making me hold on for so long ?
I cant take it agn
I dun wanna go back to th crybaby
Szehui said tt if u couldn't face me,it would be possible tt u still haven let go
But ytd..u talked to me so much
Does tt mean u rly let go alr?

2011-05-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Can u believe th scar on my hand is self inflicted ?
U told me we can only be frens
Saw him being emo coz of me
All th stress built up
My head is exploding
I can only do tt to not feel so pain
Pain transfer to physical pain..

2011-05-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

When I ended my r/s,I told myself I dunwan to be in another
End up,it's still u tt I can't put down
How long more do I need before I can put u down?
U alr moved on,and what's th pt of me holding on to this?
I need to be strong but I can't
Perhaps it is my fault for leAving u and now I dun deserve anything
Just wondering ,is our photo still in ur room?
Th belt,th bottle of cranes hearts stars,th book?
Missed us,I rly do..
Actually we both dint change
We are still who we are
Only difference is ,I'm no longer impt to u..

2011-05-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

I need to cry now
But I can't
I haf to look happy
I haf to look normal
I haf to put up strong front
I haf to act as if nth happen
I haf to act as if nth ever affects me
Tired,quite

2011-05-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

Feeling alittle painful tt u actually moved on..
U're right
We haf become 2 different person after so long
We haf been chasing after each other for 4yrs
Time to face it and get over it
Guess today I wun haf any time to eat.
Hope I just faint and haf a gd rest.
How am I gonna remove u frm my heart when u haf long stayed in 4 yrs ago??
Perhaps I haf to be like u
Go through alot thn can I put down all I've been through
Guess ur life is happy now.
Mine should be as well
Maybe I just needed alittle more time
I wun bother u anymore
Coz I will live alone frm today on!

2011-05-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

sorry im rly sorry for hurting u..
i noe im rly cruel..
i noe u did alot for me
i noe u changed alot for me
but it's all my fault..
i need to be single now
i need to be alone
i need to slowly let go of everything
i haf to let go of u and him
i tried so hard to let go of u but i cant
so i shouldnt be tgt with him coz it's fucking unfair
im a bitch i noe
to others out thr i guess im also one fucking bitch
but srsly i noe he dun deserve this kinda treatment
if im tgt with him,it will be even more unfair
i hope ending this early will minimise his pain
at least i wun feel so guilty bah

2011-05-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna concentrate on liking him
He apologized to me and promised would change
I should gif both of us chance
Hope our probs are solved!!
And so we can last(:

2011-05-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

i broke up with him
really tired of being tgt with someone who treats me just lk a normal fren
i txted him and told him we should be normal frens instead
he replied ok
wow,wad a way to end it,lk srsly
tired alr
giving myself a brk frm r/s
too scary alr
im nt gonna be so stupid to get myself pain
gonna try get u out of my mind
life will be plain and steady for me from today on
and filled with laughters with frens..

2011-05-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Fuck it man
Can u fucking get out of my mind??
I was okay th whole day today
Saw ur tweet and I broke down
Back to my old life
Looking at u frm th back
It's scary,really..
I dun wanna go back to my tearing past
I can't afford to be tt weak
I rly can't..

2011-05-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

i realised im really pro..
me myself in bad mood
feeling sucky
still gg round ask ppl if they're okay
LOL @ myself
im still feeling weak
gonna put up a strong front..

2011-04-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

I will learn to be strong..
I'm nvr gonna be hurt by u agn
My heart is rly tired
Seems lk it's gonna stop beating..
After this post I'm nt gonna tink abt u anymore
I'm gg to move on my life
And let some other guy heal my wounds
I wun be stupid enough to hurt myself agn and agn
Gonna keep my tears away and be strong
Be prepared to see th armored me!

2011-04-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Result is out..th one left behind is me..
Perhaps it's ur fault,perhaps it's mine,but it's no longer impt
U're nt th only one who hate the situation
I'm tired of it as well
We kept on chasing after each other
End up hurting each other
Maybe u're right
We should be lk tt
4 yrs le,time rly flies
Time to put it down
I haf to learn
I shouldn't be an ostrich
I tot by nt tinking,it fades off
But th moment I see u,my wound tears
It bleeds and th cut gets deeper
Guess we're rly nt fated bah
Nobody else can miss each other as much as we do..

2011-04-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Wad should I do?
When I finally convinced myself on th right thing to do
U came to talk to me
My mind gt fucked up once again
I dunno how should I face u
Wad kind of feeling I should haf when I see u
I can't put u down
Need time..
Took me 3yrs and I failed terribly..

2011-04-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

Haix why must fate let me see you in sch today?
I rly cnnt take it tt we haf to go pass each other lk acquaintance
I dunno wad to do
I can't forget us,I rly can't
But wad can I do?
We are nw in th situation when we cnnt do anything to salvage our situation
If we're fated we will be tgt de bah?

2011-04-23T18:49:00.001-07:00

Cant believe I was actually crying at dance and after dance
U tot I was meeting my bf,and know what?
I was meeting my Carmen to brk down and cry in front of them
And dint noe I would actually meet u guys at mrt thr
Perhaps I shouldn't even say hi thn I would save myself all th anger and stuff

2011-04-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

Haix I guess I caused quite alot of commotion on twitter
Perhaps th beat thing I could ever do would be staying at th current situation
I can't afford to hurt him agn
And maybe u can move on ur life as well bah
This may be a better situation
And pls la u guys dunno anything can dun comment anot?
U guys dunno how much hurt I've been through
So u haf no stand to comment abt anything
I noe diff side cfm haf diff story la,
Pls try to uds th other party's situation as well

2011-04-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

I realised I'm a bitch!
I can't make up my mind on wad to do..
I hurt him before I dun wish to hurt him
But I just can't stop tinking abt our past.
Why must heaven do this to me??
I dunno wad to do
I rly wished u made a decision tt day,
Thn I wun be stucked in such a situation.ur frens are right
I suck I'm a terrible woman
I left u thr for so long,I shouldn't expect anything else

2011-04-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

Have been very long ever since I last posted..
I'm back at hk to dance,to pursue my dream
But first day back I have been crying lk crazy
Coz of u agn !
When can I not care abt u??
Everytime I can't put u down,I only bring hurt to myself
I can't put down everything between us..
I tried really hard
First time I failed I put den my dignity and went back to u
End up my heart was smashed agn into pieces
Thr's alr alot of scar,it is alr shattered
U chose to hurt it once again
Despite all th hurt,I sill dint manage to put down us
But u disappoint me agn and agn
U can't stay faithful at all
Why can't u surprise me with some sincerity and true love?
Or issit tt u dun haf it tt's why u cant show?
U fucking bastard!
Fucking flirt!
With ur flirtatious character,doubt no woman will stay by u for long!
At least,not as stupid as how I was !
To love u for a yr plus,and bring myself three yr plus
I've seen through u,TOTALLY

2011-02-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

thr was this time,when i heard th song 'dear god' in sch
felt pain,with teary eyes
but everyone was around
i had to act as if nth happen
just now i listened to th song agn
recollected all my memories
why does it seem lk thr are only pain ones?
im gonna put everything behind after today
coz im alr a mrs ng!

2011-02-06T22:24:00.000-08:00

ahhh so sian la.doesnt make much of a diff.still like how it used to be.kinda disappointed though but well somehow also expected tt la.perhaps im just nt impt...

2011-01-28T00:03:00.000-08:00

wow.haf been so long since i've last posted
hmm life is still dint go rly well for me):
but no worries!
i'll be back soon de i guess
is HE th one i rly wan??
i noe HE is not interested in me
so,back to one-sided love
at least things were gd today!
although missed shuttle bus
gt 963 when i rch interchange and 184 when i rch pending stn
so,felt actually happy!
and pearle left her itouch at LT
nobody actually stole it!
this meant thr are still gd ppl in th world!^^

2010-10-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

haf been so bz working recently
finally coz i wanna check gpa and timetable,i on-ed my com
hmm gpa 2.88,2B and 2C
quite sucky i noe
but well cnnt chge anything
so just let it be
sorry my beloved out thr
i've been so bz working tt i neglected u guys
but if i earn more money now
by sch starts i can rest and haf extra money to spend
hmm somehow felt a little distant with u guys
i dunno how to get back to how we were
must it be lk tt?
everytime hols i work
thn we're all bound to distant
i dun wan
u guys are part of my life
impt parts,essential parts..

2010-09-06T07:41:00.001-07:00

TODAY IS LAST PAPER!!
finally over
all was lk shit
but well it's okay
who knows
miracle may happen:D
went to amk with carmen just nw
bought koi over to gF hse
had TOMYUM STEAMBOAT!!<3
i love her family de chilli and tomyum
DAMN FREAKING NICE!
slacked and watched tv at her hse
thn bus-ed home(:

2010-09-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

to my friend:
i noe u care
i'll be fine
dun worry abt me
u'll see th cheerful me soon
how i hope i had ur understanding,but sadly i dint..

2010-09-02T08:05:00.001-07:00

can u tell me why i get so worried abt u when i see u smoke?
can u tell me why i get so heartbroken when i see u smoke?
can u tell me why i cry and cry and cry?
im such a weakling..

went sch meet th peeps study
was quite late
and dint bring galv th ans he wants
thn obviously jiu kena shoot
thn after tt pei carmen and felicia buy jialin de present
brunch=carrot cake(th one piece one)
dinner=mashed potato
IM HUNGRY!

wad should i do abt u??
u fill up th spaces in my mind!!
i cant even study!!
i must pick myself up
i must stop liking ppl
thn i'll be very fine
i can live my life stronger this way

i dunno why
recently ppl i care seem to not care anymore
was it coz i pushed u all away
and u guys rly left??

2010-09-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

it got a little more painful,somehow..
i tot i dint care
i tot all of tt shit was fading
suddenly all came back
we're worlds apart
i hope we could haf a future,somehow..
but very obviously i dun tink we haf
i hate it to see u smoking
it breaks my heart
i dun wanna see u smoking and hurting ur body
but guess u wun stop
and i dun haf ability to ask u to stop
all these troubles just come and pester me during exam period
and solved after exams
THIS SUCKS!

haix and for u
stop smoking
i was disappointed u lied to me
im nt gonna stop u frm smoking le
hope u r able to stop urself
and stay away frm cig..

2010-08-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

went to sch study today.
ate maggie mee!(:
did some revision on eltech
and after that had yongtaufoo at makan place!(:

im sorry,if u noe wad i mean..
till today thn i noe
i was an idiot
u knew it so long time ago
i dint sense tt u were starting to avoid me
sucker who leaked tt out
u noe wad
u're getting ur karma soon!
FML

2010-08-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

went out study at rp with ben dade mj
mj was late!so she treated drink!
new rule implemented for sat night
hmm thn me and ben was trying our best to tikam ans for web tutorial
had over 10 tries!
okay thn went to civics study with keave carmen galv laoda
and carmen went to meet fren
so me keave galv laoda went eat botak jones!
had some stupid talks
thn walk to cwp
they pei me wait bus!(:
thn home!

i wished i was in ur eyes
i noe im nt outstanding enough to be in ur eyes
im tired
im stressed
th moment i see u
i just tink abt how impossible we'll be
i wanted to smoke
but u dint allow me to
i need some way to relax and destress!

2010-08-23T07:45:00.001-07:00

22082010
hmm stayed home for th morning
thn went down to play ball with couz and sis(:
and had dinner with family downstairs:D
thn went to meet carmen and felicia
drank at amk de some random playground
carmen drink until seh
as for me px and sis fetched me back from amk

i felt rly sad coz u dint care
how i hoped u would show me some concern
but well i tink too much
u nvr did,and nvr will..

23082010
went out eat mac breakfast with ganma and gF
studied in lib
saw wk shuli and their fren
thn we went to cwp walk abit
pasar malam walk abit
thn back!
met mj dade ben at my hse downstairs
gambled AGAIN
thn dabao back for erjie

2010-08-21T08:06:00.001-07:00

woke up 10plus today
toured ard spore today!
>>>>>>bugis(romadeli!) bought a bag!!(:
>>>>>clarkequay(sticky!)
>>>>stadium(collect laopo's tix!)
>>>jap sch for tt summer festival thingy
>>tampines!!
>home!!
tired day out man!
but happy!!
coz i bought sth.WAHAHAHA

2010-08-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

BUSY DAY TODAY!!
woke up at 10 plus today
went to gF hse eat spag(:
thn went dwn buy bbt with pangmei!!
omg she so so so cute can!!
thn slacked at her hse
intended to do some web tutorials
ended up pei laopo go polyclinic get mc
kelian de laopo must take care!!
thn went to 167
mj joined us(with a SUNFLOWER)
thn we trained down to clementi meet jh
cabbed to nus
TH PERFORMANCE WAS AWESOME!
MY JUNIORS WERE ALL AWESOME AS WELL!
ok ended and i came back with th juniors
sorry to ps jh and mj!
thn had supper at 800+
guys were as crappy as usual!
cabbed home

i didnt noe why
our memories suddenly flowed into my mind
kinda miss it somehow
suddenly i felt my mind being in a whirl
was it tt i still had feeling deep in my heart undiscovered?
or was it just wadever i dunno
mixed feelings..
a buried passion & maybe perhaps a buried feeling?

saw th dancers on th stage
and i hoped i was one of them
but back to reality,im nt a part of them
i can no longer be th one on th stage
i can only be a small small audience
passion buried deep in my heart
but fate just washes off th dust
and let me see it
and let me be helpless
coz i can do nth
i cant dance!
fact is i just cannot go back to dance!

2010-08-19T08:21:00.001-07:00

wow.i managed to stay home today during th day!
okay la.coz abit not feeling well.
thn went running with gF and her biaojie
5km!!!
actually only ran 2/3 of it?
super tired
now starting to feel muscle pain liao
tml sure die!
thn home to bath
and out to meet dade mj ben
had pasar malam food
thn slack at playground and homed
dad gave me angbao
at first i tot he put wrong amt:x
coz he kiamsiap:P
but ya it was th right amt
thanks dad:D

disappointed in u
as my fren u should uds me
instead of attacking me
i nearly cried
i noe it's dumb if i rly cried out over this kinda thing
but u'll nvr imagine how i felt at tt moment

2010-08-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

17082010
it's a miracle i stayed home th whole afternoon:x
initially wanted to go jogging with gF
but thanks to my shuai zui ba
thr was a heavy rain-_-
okay so chge of plan
meet laopo mj yyl dade ben yky eat at MEGA
thn went to wdl centre play pool with ben dade mj qq
and home sweet home

still in th messed-up mind stage):

2010-08-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

initially wanted to get my dbs card
not sure if i can get it
so chge of plan
meet gF go get bernice's present!!
thn after tt meet galvan go keave's hse study
i hereby conclude,THEY ARE GAYS!!
okay thn studied liao went amk
thn they ate their dinner
i went to buy KOI<3
omg,super slow
they finish their dinner liao
plus bought their second dinner
i still haven get my koi-_-
thn back to gF hse eat lei cha!!(:
and bus-ed home

u make me ponder
srsly u do
i cant get my eyes off u
but i noe i'll nvr be th one in ur eyes
no pt being emo over nth
i'll be fine and bubbly once agn

2010-08-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

14082010
met up with my gF mummy and bendan ganma
i love them!!
go to our usual ajisen
and they baked cookies for us!!
nice nice!!
thn went to sunplaza with erjie and frens to eat
and to my relg cls
thn back home

today woke up early to go liat tower haf veg buffet
OMG DIMSUM THR IS SUPER NICE!!
thn went to ssc daiso!!
and back to 167 wait for laopo
talking crap with yyl and yky
thn went to yky hse wii awhile
and home to change clothes
went eat loykee with them
zizhao joined
thn home!!

2010-08-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

12082010
stuck home th whole afternoon
thn meet carmen leon galv study
so fun studying with them
soooo funny!!!
thn talked abt BGR as usual

memories flowed into my mind
everything have passed
but it seemed as if it was just ytd
well,i hate BGR
i srsly do..

today went to civics eat mac breakfast with mum and erjie
thn px came to join
thn went to dbs bank settle her loan de thing
and walked around cwp
meet gF awhile
and back home!
ltr gonna meet snm peeps
realised i missed out alot of fun..

cheerup meixia!

2010-08-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

supposedly meeting everyone at busstop go clss
HOWEVER!
ALMOST EVERYONE WAS LATE!!
hmm thn eltech extra lesson
end le went makan place for lunch
elton is SUPER FUNNY TTM!!!
okay thn came back meet laopo dade ben mj go rp study
ended up playing with poker cards
and losing money T.T
thn meet gF buy cake and present for gF mummy
ate at 167 zi char
celebrated gF mummy bdae<3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY gF MUMMY!!
I LOVE YOU!!

srsly..one of th reasons why i like her more than my own mum is coz she care for me even more than my mum do-_-
may sound ridic,but it's true
i talk to my mum and dun get any reply-_-
wtf.even someone who is so unrelated to me cares abt me

TO MY MUM:ALL YOU EVER DO IS TO DOUBT ME,CONTROL ME,HECK CARE ME WHEN I NEED CARE!
TO gF MUMMY:THANKYOU FOR TREATING ME SO WELL.RLY APPRECIATE IT!!

not gonna let myself think so much
coz it's nt gonna help
TML WILL BE BETTER
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
REST,MY BRAIN..!

2010-08-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

missed out th fun at T3 on 08082010
so joined in th fun at sentosa with clique and snm peeps on 09082010!!
went to chalet awhile and cab back
today meet snm peeps go study awhile
thn meet classmates K agn!!<3
love gg thr with them,coz it's super fun!!

you haf th ability to make my heart skip a beat
you haf th ability to take my eyes off everything im looking at
how i hope time will stop
so that i can stay at tt moment for eternity...

2010-08-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

went eating brunch with mj and wk at 306 thr
so funny
wk keep kena shoot
thn we pei him wait for bus
go visit laopo at 167 astons<3
thn home to slp awhile
out to meet snm peeps for dinner
went to centre play pool
keep lose):
back to 167
drank some beer
and walked back home with qq mj kkh
played with guinea pig<3
thn yupp i reach home

2010-08-06T08:48:00.001-07:00

alarm rang at 6.15
but i continued to slp till 7=x
was late for my lesson
but well he dun care
so im still marked as present(:
thn prac was lk shit
totally dunno how do-_-
end sch le galvan help us chiong cprog
wahahaha,thanks to carmen!!
coz he ai wu ji wu!!
okays thn phone completely flat
so i meet gF come back
ate dinner at 167 with her
her mum came and SHOCKED me!-_-
okay thn went to cwp meet peeps for movie
SALT!!!
lousy ending sia
and watching th movie make me tou tong sia
okay end le jiu back home now

haix mind is in a whirl
hate it!
hope i dun need to tink
thinking is th last thing ever i wanna do in th world!

2010-08-05T09:17:00.000-07:00

snw was soooo super funny!
okay end le went bugis meet joc go find gladys
had starbucks<3!
thn stayed at her granny's funeral for quite long
only left around 10plus
just reached home not long ago
sorry joc we talked abt ur sad stuff
hope wadever i said did cheer u up
took 960 back to wdl
half th ride was standing up
with ATs behind us talking and squeezing-_-
gonna rest soon
tml morning lesson
i dunno how i gonna submit th cprog lo srsly

i hope we can haf a future
somehow im nt confident of it
perhaps i'll try,just maybe i will..

2010-08-04T23:47:00.000-07:00

hate thinking abt stuffs
coz it makes me emo
i dunno wad to do
my life is so messed up
hate feeling of being alone i guess..

2010-08-04T20:40:00.000-07:00

04082010
compro test lk shit
cfm chop stamp fail
both cnnt work de
super damn sian la
thn end le went to eat at bukit timah market
and back to sch to do compro
well obviously is not productive
dun even noe how to start
thn back to gF hse take KOI<3
and meet erjie and px cut hair(:
wait very long sia!
okay thn slp

came sch early to do compro
hope can finish
ltr gg gladys' granny funeral
hope she's alright
cheerup my loved one!

hmm.was in a dilemma
in th end i realised tt afterall
i still lk u
no matter how hard i try
i still tink of u
wad should i do??

2010-08-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

sch agn
test today!
came sch early to study
wasnt productive at all-_-
fcuk la,im gg to fail my test
damn sian de lo
both cprog cnnt work
i dun wanna repeat my module!
thn went to bukit timah market eat
and back to sch
gonna start on cprog soon
damn sian.hate life lk tt!

2010-08-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

sch in th morning
celebrate bdae for beansprouts
thn alot ppl face kena choc!
thn cprog damn sian
eltech not any better
thn end le went to eat th cake
thn went clementi kbox!<3
asked for tiger beer
we finished 2jugs!
and wth i lost to stupid keavage
so angry!
he kan bu qi nv ren!!
nvm this time i seh
nxt time i make him seh!!
so bu gan yuan lose to him!!!
lucky after tt drank some soup and some ju hua
thn better now
if nt dun tink i can still be so awake now-_-
tml compro test
cfm chop stamp die!!!
damn damn sian la!!

2010-08-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

sch as usual
our geekee keep kena disiao today
thn come back with gF
went her hse slack till 8
back home
and out agn at 9 to buy beansprout's cake
tml his bdae
and tml morning cake shop nvr open so early
so went to buy just nw
just reached home not long ago
life's boring ttm!

2010-08-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

woke up early in th morning to eat breakfast with parents and sis<3
it's been such a long time since i haf done tt
i rly love it man
i noe i may sound stupid but ya i rly lk sitting down and eating breakfast with them
thn home prepared food for potluck
thn went astons gif laopo th food
and down to cine collect th 2 chabor's present
thn back to astons find laopo
went 883 buy our food
food i prepared was too cold
so i bought another packet to cook agn
thn went to qi's hse
makan makan
play twister AGAIN
leg cramp):
thn zy joined
we cut cake gif presents(:
thn tried to clear th cakes and all went home
I LOVE TODAY<3

2010-07-31T10:38:00.001-07:00

and to my fren:
pls be strong my fren
he's just a bastard
dun be unhappy over him
coz no point
im sorry i dint stop th tragedy from happening
so all i can do is be here for u
everything is over now
lead ur life strong
let him noe tt losing u is his sun shi
ur frens are all here for u
JIAYOU!

2010-07-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

went out to chinatown with laopo yyl zizhao!
had feng ji at people's park complex:D
thn went to chinatown point to buy yl de ring
thn ginsoon joined
pei him eat mac
thn we all go town
meet yq mj buy presents(:
okay thn walked from somerset to orchard
thn back to wdl meet snm peeps
had dinner at 136 zichar
thn meet mummy at interchange come back
tml potluck at yq hse!!!<3

haix.lotsa things happened today
ah ma pissed me off in afternoon
now a bastard tt hurt my fren
bastard,let me tell u this
u better watch out
walk dun fall down
cross road dun kena bang
cross custom dun kena rob
ride motor dun kena accident
eat dun choke dao
when using fire,pls dun be careful
hope th fire burns ur ass off!

2010-07-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

ytd night oovoo with carmen melville galvan jasper till 3
thn slp and wake up at 6
omg.such a long day today
nearly died-_-
in sch keep kena disiao thanks to carmenkee
thn end sch le come back with gF and ben
ben look like a zi bi kid la!
haha oh thn saw jinkai at pending station
so back tgt
thn went to swim with snm peeps
too long nvr swim + lao liao
muscles pain
and sorta stretched my back muscles,causing pain now
thn went 167 eat dinner and back home!!
tired tired tired

2010-07-29T07:04:00.003-07:00

did cprog in th morning
sat thr for hrs trying to do tt one qn
and ite still cnnt do
damn sian la!
thn went sch for s&w
at least today was quite fun.haha
coz of th interaction i guess
thn end le meet dade
back to cwp
meet laopo yyl zizhao
and ben joined
they had mac
i had waffle for dinner-_-
okay thn pool at wdl checkpoint thr
and back home
srsly hate cprog!!!
im dying!!

2010-07-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

compro as usual.
super stress la sian
dunno how to do everything
went to bukit timah market thr eat lunch with classmates agn
they super dirty!
and super funny as well!(:
hmm now back to sch with them
guys playing dota
girls doing nth
ltr gg gF hse makan tomyam!!
i so LOVE her mum la!<3

why do i haf such irritating family?
they super psychotic lo
bian tai one
always yi shen yi gui
shen jing bing la!

2010-07-27T06:24:00.000-07:00

260710
sch once agn
end le came back with gF
thn went cwp meet laopo
wanted to find tarot cards
but all not nice one
so walk walk
gt sth frm more than words
bought th SAME notebook agn-_-
thn went gF biaojie hse after tt see pangmei!
had lei cha thr
quite nice!!^^
thn homed

270710
wanted to wake up at 9
end up waking up at 9.15-_-
thn bathe le come out
everyone say my pants make me look lk i come frm india-_-
okay thn end sch le went canteen 2
eat liao went to play pool<3
my classmates are soooooo cute
I LOVE THEM!(:
thn meet erjie at cck for pizzahut
was super late
at first meet 6 at marsiling
thn she text wrong tell me meet 6.50
so i stayed awhile longer at pool thr
thn she miss called me 19times
and asked me go settle dinner myself
thn i told her she tell me 6.50 de
thn she realise she told me wrong time
so she waited at pizzahut for me
with 2 person's share of food
she said she looked lk an idiot
HAHAHAHA
okay thn we got down at marsiling walk home
see alot ppl lining up
i asked erjie 'are they humans?=x'
thn after tt see they were actually queueing up for bus
she was telling me 'dint u see them disappearing?'
dumb sister i haf-_-
well and here i am home(:

2010-07-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

hmm out for breakfast with gF and family
mac breakfast!!
thn after tt walk around cwp
got a pair of ear stud AGAIN
and a ear piercing!!
ok thn back to 167
me mj kh slacked thr 5hrs to wait for laopo
thn kena bully by tt lesliepek
omg im fat!
im gg on diet soon=D
thn went cwp see swimming suit
and back for dinner
steamboat alone with er jie.LOL

u went out early in th morning
dint even ask us out for breakfast
when i go out haf breakfast with ppl and stay outside
u complain say ur off day i nvr pei u
thanks for tt
and nw u're gg out to sing agn,when im home
wow!so much for not pei-ing u
back for steamboat
when i reach home
everyone else finished
LOL
wad a family
mayb it's my fault for reaching late bah
well..i dun gif a damn to eating with u all
zzz

and u!
asshole
u treated me lk a puppet right?
wanna text jiu text
dun wan jiu dun text
and till today thn i noe
i was more than 90% right abt me being used by u as a puppet
u sucker!

2010-07-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

out to town with laopo today.
only bought anklet and ear studs
for her is bracelet and ear studs
thn ate dingtaifung!<3
walk walk thr thn came back meet snm peeps
went chongpang eat zichar
damn nice!!<3
thn went to northpoint and back to adm
sat at food court waste abit time
and here i am back home!hehe
tml wan go jog lei
hope im nt too lazy to do so=x

2010-07-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

early in morning kena stuck in jam for abt 1hr

damn sian!!

thn lesson

failed my prac test

had retest with my cher helping me half th paper-_-

okay thn end and went home with gF

her mum nvr cook her dinner

so we ate

lester issac hangwei zhenyu joined(:

crapped thr

tt stupid leslie say i fat le

sadded):

conclusion:zhenyu super bian tai!-_-

thn back to woodgrove find snm peeps

ate durians!

thn walked to cwp with them

and took bus back-_-

tml gg town with laopo!!<3

2010-07-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

IS challenge

waste of my time-_-

okay thn go th dialogue session

ANOTHER waste of time-_-

homed!

was on th same bus as kel zijian and joel(:

thn waited for 912 for half hr-_-

thn back home and ate maggie mee

went ntuc buy cereals!(:

wan go on diet le!

2010-07-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

cprog today agn

was like disaster once agn-_-

ok thn end le walked to mac with carmen galvan melville leon junxiong elton weehan

thn makan liao walk back sch wait for gF

went to co-op to buy ALOT tidbits

but after i pay for it

she tell me she end lesson le

so i went lsct blk find her and bused back

slacked at her hse until 5 went down meet laopo for dinner

astons agn with free fries(thanks to qq:D)

thn chit chat till 8

and bought bbt up for gF and yj

thn crapped until 9plus walk home

tml gonna haf crap

8.30 to 5.30 IS challenge-_-

5-6 dialogue with ME director-_-

wad a boring life i haf eh srsly-_-

2010-07-20T05:53:00.001-07:00

stayed back till 5 for a stupid talk

utter waste of time

so regret staying back!

came back with lester

FINALLY once we came back tgt lo

crapping all th way

thn back home and having headache

i dunno wad to do.im tired..

'wad's meant to be will be'

god can u let this quote come true..?

2010-07-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

so boring la sch
ahhhhhhh
life sucks!
weehan and kenneth is so bad!
they keep study study study.stress me):

today so not in a good mood
dunno why also
somehow a little sad?
i dunno la.
not gonna care alr
hope i can meet my mr right soon
okay somehow i sounded abit despo once agn
LOL
nah.tt's nt th case
i just hoped i can rely on someone
usual things happen
usual thinkings
lalalalala

2010-07-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

how i wished i haf someone to rely on as well.
just a random thought(okay sounded despo somehow but im nt-_-)
currently not tinking of any guys
maybe should start thinking of girls!hahaha

2010-07-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

sch as usual
went to lsct see mice(:
came back with gF and phoebe
thn went gF's biaojie hse eat steamboat
nice tomyam and chilli<3
thn homed!
boring life indeed.
routines is sch and gF's hse-_-

2010-07-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

hmm went mayim with my cute laopo
thn walked around
gt same necklace and same shirts<3
ok thn went checkpoint return nametag and get cheque
thn went to take bus
took 856
i forgt 856 cnnt reach marsiling
so...we got off
SUPER EPIC THINGS HAPPEN!
my cute laopo LEAPED onto th bus to tap her card!
i was laughing until lk crazy
thn walked to last bus stop take bus to 167
at bus stop she nearly slipped and fell
thn took 911
otw walking she nearly fell AGAIN!
$1 3 try.HAHA
okays thn slacked thr
and laopo went home
so i went to join gF and family
srsly her family SUPER DUPER cute la!
thn homed and here i am(:

2010-07-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

ytd went eat lunch
thn meet with laopo and yl at adm
went to mai cai<3
thn went mj hse steamboat with snm peeps
we were late for our predators movie at 9.15
coz we started steamboat late(only at 7plus gg 8!)
okay movie wasnt very nice=/
thn homed

2010-07-15T07:31:00.001-07:00

lesson as usual
came back with dade to meet th peeps for dinner
was abit pissed just nw
so i just walked off
so sorry if i shocked u guys
abit mood swing=/
okays thn go 888 playground
hurt my leg-_-
thn chit-chat thr
and here im back
tml gonna die
coz gt cprog written test
and lucky junxiong posted tt tml gt eng mech test
if nt tml i GG liao-_-

2010-07-14T04:11:00.001-07:00

lesson ended at 12 today!(:
went back home to put lappy
thn came out go eat seoul garden!
started with mj first
thn laopo yyl and zizhao joined(:
thn gF said wanna eat icecream
so i pei her eat lo
thn back to her hse
pangmei so cute!!(:

2010-07-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

130710
boring lesson in sch
okay sch end
thn carmen and me go pizza hut with guys to eat
they damn crap!
sometimes being with them can make me nt tink abt anything
coz they nvr fail to make me laugh(:
okay thn back meet laopo at cwp
pei her eat lunch
and bought photo frame for my new table!(:
thn yyl zizhao and mj came meet us
went mac slack awhile
went peixuan hse after tt
she drive us go chongpang zichar makan
NICE!(:
thn she went to find cage for her xiaobai(hamster)
thn back home.

dunno wad i thinking sia
very luan lei now
nth seems right
i dint wanna seem emo
i wan to be happy
i wun let any guys bring my mood down
being free and easy isnt sth bad
i can do anything and everything
haha yeah
alone is gd at times too i guess
i'll be fine
just need some time
wait for th cheerful me
coz IM COMING!

2010-07-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

boring day at sch
ytd watched wc
SPAIN WON!
and total time was lk 2hr-_-
thn slpt at 6 woke up at 8 to eat breakfast with mum
thn lesson blahblahblah
went to lsct blk to find gF
had to climb th LONG flight of stairs!
okay thn went to see guinea pig at her lab(:
thn back to her hse to eat tomyam!!!
omg.
studying is bored):

2010-07-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

110710
i just realised my blog de dates all wrong
im too lazy to chge
so i just put date before every post(:

went brunch with laopo
and thn went marsiling cc k!
okay thn back home
and out agn to dye my hair
and cut my fringe
i've gt myself bangs!(:
okays thn back home
just finished my cprog quiz
gonna do my web tutorials
sch is bored!!!

2010-07-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

headache now
think is coz of th vodka ytd
hmm ltr meeting laopo for brunch<3

i alr decided
nvr to be sad over u agn
time to move on
i believe in myself that i can!

2010-07-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

kena asked to wake up early today
coz it's my sis's 21st today!
Happy birthday sis<3!
okay,thn helped with abit deco
oh ya and thx to px
had some carrot cake for breakfast(:
thn blahblahblah
ate th nice food from whole earth!(very nice veg buffet!)
okay thn went to collect cake with px n biaojie(:
tweety and sylvester!!
with th words"happy birthday to shopaholic"
hahas so damn funny!
initially wasnt sure if th cake was right
but th time when i saw th shopaholic
im so freaking sure that's th right cake.LOL
okay bck and cut cake
thn guests went back
i went to slp
and wake up go religious class
and went ky hse find laopo they all
had a little alcohol
absolute peach + F&N orange
thn here i am back(:

2010-07-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

lesson at 8
but reached early
saw melville and so walked to clss blk with him
thn were talking abt wc,octopus paul and th parrot
funny la!
octopus --> tako
parrot -->kfp
they so kelian
predict wrong will become lk tt.haha!
hmm thn homed to put bag
and out agn to meet sat night ppl eat dinner at chongpang<3
omg man.food thr nice!!<3
and also ben is freaking gay man!
keep kena slap by dade.LOL
kelian!
thn back pei sis go find dress for her party tml
but she dint manage to find any
so here i am back home

it isnt vry nice to act happy and crazy in front of everyone
i hope i can just coop at one corner and tink through everything
i lk to coop myself at one side
and be quiet for a period of time
and thn i'll be fine..
tired!
i cnnt take it
i noe it's impossible
but i still had hope somehow
i noe im dumb
but i just cant help it
FCUK LIFE!

2010-07-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

life still sucked today
i had to do th whole thing.
it's gg 1 now and im not done with it yet
im sleepy
watched 2 night's wc
plus tml 8 de lesson
i can predict im gonna be shag tml

sch as usual today
end le went to astons drink mushroom soup
coz suddenly felt lk drinking tt
thn dabao banmian go gF hse eat
went to pangmei hse
pangmei so kelian keep kena scold by gF
she super duper fierce!
went to kpt buy drink before coming back
thn homed did proj for lk 3-4hr
which is until now

wad am i to u?
i noe im redundant in ur life
but can u dun show it until so obvious?!

2010-07-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

damn sian.
10bucks fly away
germany lost):
but actually quite happy spain won
coz i support spain!!
just tt i tot germany would win th match
okay im contradicting myself-_-

hmm feel so tired sia
but still haf to go sch
consecutively 2 nights wc is enough to kill!!
ltr need go for th crap IS and S&W
waste of my precious time.LOL.

sick and tired of ur actions..
do u actually noe ur actions are just so misleading?
and th dumb me just haf hopes and th hopes gt smashed..
fml.im tired!!
shouldnt haf let u entered my life once agn
brought myself all these trouble!

2010-07-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

sch le thn met px for lunch
yummy pasta!
thn went to her hse
thn met laopo go astons
slacked thr till 9plus
thn homed
thought through alot..
i should haf persevered on..
shouldnt haf text-ed you..
make my mind so luan now
i cnnt take it le
rly very stressed up with everything
i feel lk crying
i feel pain once again..

2010-07-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

why am i always th one waiting?
i dun lk this feeling at all!):

2010-07-06T07:55:00.001-07:00

hate lessons!
went mac with clssmates after sch today
they damn crap!!
thn home-ed
slp awhile
thn bring uniform go checkpoint return
otw thn rmb i forgt bring nametag
so need go thr AGAIN!-_-
thn went cwp meet ganma mummy and wenkang for sakae<3
funny time thr with them
thn walked home with mummy frm cwp thn bus-ed home
oh ya and mj gave me belated present just now.PINK PANTHER!<3
thanks lots mj!!!(:

otw back,tot abt alot
emo-ed alot
i'll try my best to cheer up!

2010-07-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

lesson at 1
ended at 4
initially wanted to go cca
but i had to wait 1hr+ alone
so i just came back
bet my senior killing me soon
thn went gF's hse slack awhile
thn went to 768 yumcha with laopo they all
thn back home

im tired of life
wad's th pt of trying to be happy when u're nt
i rly missed u
missed talking to u
but i dun wanna let myself go back to th situation
when im waiting for ur sms day and night
u dun even fcuking look at me..

2010-07-04T08:44:00.001-07:00

afternoon went mayim with peeps
thn after tt laopo go back do pw
me dade ben kh go occ play pool AGAIN
all i can say is
TT STUPID DADE IS CURSED!!
thn went northpoint de food court eat
laopo joined us
thn we went laopo hse thr de playgroung play catching-_-
thn bus-ed home

life sucks!
firstly life is boring
secondly feeling of being alone is nt very nice
thirdly i noe im thinking too much but i cant help it

2010-07-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

ytd was feeling a little sick + raining
so dint go town with them
afternoon tt time went to qi's hse to mj
i lost 1plus(thanks to stupid dade who keep cursing me!)
thn ate at qi's hse(qi mama's cooking was AWESOME!esp curry<3)
hmm thn played twister
damn fun!everyone was playing until leg and hand stretch until dunno whr
thn went off early go 768 yumcha with laopo yl kh
thn home sweet home(:
was watching germany & argentina match
omg argentina was lk...OMG
striker keep miss,thn goalie also quite weak
so germany won!
initially wanted slp awhile wake to watch spain and paraguay
but couldnt wake
in th end spain still win!!(:

feeling of pain
gradually becoming numb..

2010-07-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

sch was lk hell today
sleepy sleepy & sleepy!
still sick!):
just now end sch went to amk with laopo to buy KOI again<3
gt drenched in th rain
hope tt wasnt th cause of my headache-_-
thn trained back to cwp meet lucas and ben
thn we bought cake for dade
CAREBEAR CAKE!!(idea by lucas=x)
meet juaen mummy
ok thn proceeded to sembawang
meet mj kkh dade
and off to ssc opp de some zichar
zizhao and yyl came
food was okok only anw-_-
thn sing bdae song for dade
as expected he cutted all th care bears into half!-_-
ok thn 3 person tio th cream of th cake
which is me lucas dade!
ok eateateat
up next,we go occ play pool agn
and trained back to adm took cab back with zizhao
lucky no midnight charge
so only 4bucks
and here i am blogging
so sleepy and tired
gonna get some medicine and slp
tml town with lucas dade juaen mummy(not sure if any other is joining though)

2010-07-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday dade!<3
lousy day today!
Set wrong time for alarm
in th end late for sch-_-
still feel so sleepy):
intended to pon de
but today gt lab
currently waiting for lesson to start

lost in th dark..
I'm gonna gif u up
starting to feel tt feelings are fading..
Issit coz we nvr chat
issit coz I keep forcing myself to not think of u
or is my feeling rly fading
I rly dunno..

2010-06-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

cprog today,no productivity-_-
thn homed
had some med and slp
went astons with laopo agn!<3
thn back.
nose tap cnnt off
coughing
now plus stomach pain
FML-_-

well today had conclusion
frenship is more imptnt than relationship!!
well,frens are always thr
but sorry thr was a period of time i ps u guys
but yeah,u all th best!<3
I LOVE ALL OF YOU(:

2010-06-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

today end sch went pizzahut with carmen dave weehan
thn came back cwp meet shawn go back rs
i miss dancing!<3
thn end le went to eat gelare with shawn and juniors
thn pei him buy stud
came back home with sis
and here i am blogging!
chi dance always haf politics
nvr changed a single bit-_-
I LOVE DANCING!<3

2010-06-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

ytd start of sch was boring as ever
super no mood coz not feeling well-_-
craps in clss as usual.HAHA
met up with my sweetie to eat
went to astons AGAIN.
thn omg im having sore throat and cough
and i ate black pepper sauce with tasty rice=x
thn qq treated fries.(THANKS QQ!)
thn just ate th fries lo
coz reject like so rude

hmm today sore throat worsened-_-
dun lk th feeling of gonna get fever
but th temperature stil seems okay
ltr gg back rs see th juniors
hope they actually noe who i am =/
gg prepare for sch(:

2010-06-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

omg.im sick th day right before sch starts-_-
wth,my nose is lk dropping liao lo
sore throat,cough,runny nose(cfm is chuan ran by gF de=x)
last day at work today
i sorta felt sad
used to working life
if nvr work,life will be so empty
perhaps i just needed to haf alot of plans to fill up my life
so tt i wun haf time to slow down my pace and feel so empty

i must get u out of my life
u're too dangerous
u invaded into such deep depth in my heart
i must close my doors
and nvr let u barge in agn..

2010-06-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

went astons pei gF just now
thn met laopo thr to eat erm lunch?LOL
thn met sat night ppl go 136 eat zichar
and to 768 thr de playground play blindmice
worsen th bruise frm last wk
coz i hit on same spot.LOL
and back home(:

2010-06-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

my heart is moved again-_-
why???
i srsly dunno why
heaven like to play me lk a fool
gif me same situation
gif me same feeling
made me do th same action
and i got th same response
thanks so much man!-_-

2010-06-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

ytd went makan with laopo
thn saw lingmei and jiahui so makan tgt(:
thn after tt go occ play pool with dade benedict laopo mj kh
and once agn we see eden they all thr
thn went off earlier coz had to work):

today woke up super early in th morning to pei laopo go rebond!
thn bought our fav KOI<3
thn back and had ajisen and yakun egg<3
went to marsiling astons thr slack awhile
went to work agn-_-
thn i went back to marsiling astons agn
coz jenny wants some lid for th takeaway box
thn slack awhile thr and walked back

dun tink u're th only one with problems okay!
if u cnnt take jokes,dun ever joke with me anymore
im not someone whom u can take as chu qi tong
even if i am,i only allow certain ppl to do so,definitely NOT u!
u ASSHOLE

2010-06-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

today needa work!
last 3rd day at work
dunno wad to do after i quit sia.
DIE!

i no longer know wad i wan anymore
my mind is in a whirl once agn
i'll try to do wad im supposed to do
which is to let go
coz perhaps we met at th wrong time

2010-06-22T20:08:00.001-07:00

ytd went to shimin hse for mini gathering
thn me gF dade mummy ganma wk mj went to ajisen<3
thn slacked at cwp for hrs
and met laopo for gelare<3
bought a geek specs.
look forward to seeing me in it(:

i tot slping early can take my mind off everything..
but it still dint
failed attempts for 2 days
wad can i do??

2010-06-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

ur images are popping up in my mind.
wad can i do to remove u??
today went to work.
as usual,BORING!
cnnt tahan sia.
boring place with no customers-_-

2010-06-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

feeling rly lousy
hope i'll be fine soon
i hate this feeling
i hate my heart,coz it always brings me to places i shouldnt go
i hate myself for allowing all these to happen
i hate myself for not being able to control my feelings
i hate myself for everything!

2010-06-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

looking at th rs juniors' photos at th dance camp..
i miss dance camp!
i miss th carefree life all th dancers had during dance camp!
i miss th times whr i had some dark spots to emo and think of stuffs!
i miss dancing with everyone thr!
i miss th scary jibengong!
i miss th community life!
i miss all that have happened in hk!
but i noe i cant go back to th past..
everything tt haf happened was very sweet memories to me
but they are afterall memories,which means when it pass it doesnt come back
i only can tink abt it,miss it,wish it can happen agn
but obviously i cant..
my jibengong everything no longer thr
so wad if i feel lk dancing?
i still cnnt go back...

2010-06-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

hmm..dunno wad else to say..
nth much changed,still th same old situation-_-
today went out pool with dade and mj
thn came back to eat dinner with family to 'celebrate' fathers' day

oh well.
i noe i cant do it.
i must stop myself.
im gonna be fine.
im gonna forget u.

2010-06-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

feel lk quitting my job.
coz mj nvr work le.and working at cp wasnt wad i wan at all.
'helping out for 1mth/2mth',srsly i dun tink thr's much truth in it.
well..mayb should just stop working and concentrate on my studies first bah
fan zheng also cnnt go back marsiling work,no pt staying thr work also.

i dunno how to stop myself..
i seemed to have lost control..